A STORY BY AYODELE ADEOYE
The first shocker of my marriage journey started on the 2nd of July. My husband came home moody, unlike him. What is the matter dear, you are moody? Talk to me, I am your wife, I pleaded with him. He raised his voice at me, “you are not my wife, you are your father’s wife”. I tried to understand his grievances but couldn’t place it. What is the matter, why did you say I am my father’s wife? What did I do wrong? You are also single, yet to be married, he said. His words got me more confused. Dayo, can you just tell me in plain language what I have done wrong? I requested.
It took me almost an hour to get him voice out what my offense was. You’ve been married for almost two months and your status on Facebook is still showing your father’s name and not mine. Your marital status also is still showing single. Is that all, I asked him. I am changing them right away. I picked my phone and began to make attempt to update my Facebook status but the network that evening was terrible. I promised him I will do that when the network is restored. That evening at dinner, he was not that jovial Dayo I have been married to. At night I attempted like twice to make the change but network was still not available. We slept off and I forgot to revisit it again.
It was when he came back again with a long face the following day I remembered I had not been able to change my status on Facebook. I quickly rushed in to try it again. He came after me, collected my phone and smashed it against the wall. The phone he bought with his own money. My eyes were red seeing my phone scattered on the ground. I didn’t say a word, I just walked out of him. He began to shout at the top of his voice. Must I force you to change your status on Facebook after one month of marriage? You are not proud of me, that’s why you left your status the way it is after one month of marriage. You don’t want your boyfriends to know you are married so you can still be seeing them. You will return back to your father’s house since he is your husband. Those words were like arrows in my heart. I was really disappointed at Dayo’s attitudes.
When I could no longer take his insults , I moved away. You are walking out of me? He asked while following me. I can no longer take your insults again, and I wouldn’t want to talk back at you. Leave me now and let me be alone. He dragged me by my left arm, you can’t be alone while we are in this house. I tried to snatch my arm from his grip and my hand hit him on his face. By the time I realised what happened, my husband had beaten me blue and back. I laid down there and wept.
In the night I couldn’t sleep. Mama’s proverb kept ringing in my mind “oun ton be leyin efa oju meje lo”, “what is after six is more than seven”. I kept hearing that every now and then while my husband was deeply asleep as if nothing had happened. What had happened to Dayo the lover boy? Why was he able to deceive me with his mantra of ” a changed man”? Has he really changed? Did he pretended all this while just to get me? Could it be that mama was right? I hope I have not made an eternal mistake?