Why should a lady’s success be a threat to any man?
By Mandy Agbajama.
So let’s dive into today’s discussion. An old school friend of mine sent a video on Instagram of a Nigeria celebrity, Juliana Olayode sharing her concerns on why a lot of men are scared of getting married to rich ladies. Lol!
Her claims were, a lot of Nigerian men wouldn’t want to marry women richer than them because they tend to feel intimidated. She referred to a friend of hers who is scared to buy a car because that might prevent her from finding a husband. VERY FUNNY! She went on to explain that her friend is also scared of getting promoted at work in order not to scare men away. The most annoying part of this is, Juliana stressed that her friend is getting most of the advice from her mother.Hmmmm!
First of all, a woman’s success shouldn’t prevent her from getting married. What has that got to do with finding love? To me, this seems to be a very primitive and ignorant ideology.
Going through the comments on that Instagram post, a lot of women did assert the fact that there are men who think this way. However, the painful part of it is, some women even agree with the mentality. How sad!
Well, this isn’t the first time I have heard this too, but as i said earlier, it is a myopic mentality. My sincere Opinion! I have never been married, but I believe that only men with inferiority complex feel this way. If my success will scare a man, then so be it. I can’t forgo my dreams and visions because some guys might feel threatened by it. That’s their problem! I am working hard to become the best I vision myself to be. Any man coming into my life should either support and help me grow, or better still, just stay way. This topic links with my blog post from last week, concerning how women are viewed and treated based on stereotypical roles and cultural values. It saddens my heart that the presence of these issues does exist in so many societies.
On the other hand, I feel some parents have a significant role to play in the influence of this primitive mentality on children, most notably in the Nigerian society. Why would a mother advise her child not to invest in herself, not to get a car or house when she can afford it, only because that might prevent her from finding love. Why will a mother encourage her child to refrain from getting promoted because men might get threatened by her success? Excuse me!! Does that even make sense!
Even if we are sticking with the biblical ideology of the man being the Head of the home, a woman’s wealth should not stop him from leading the home as the Head. Why don’t we advise and encourage men to be supportive of their wives? If you love someone, their progress should bring you joy and happiness, and this works both ways.
We need to educate Nigerians; parents, young girls, boy and people who think like this that a woman can be as successful as she aspires to be and that wouldn’t and shouldn’t hinder her from finding love. Being a woman shouldn’t stop her from being what she desires to be. It shouldn’t stop her from working hard and attaining excellent success achievement. It should not stop her from owning properties. Being a woman shouldn’t make her feel less of a person. We don’t need to bend our standard because some men feel intimidated. This needs to stop.
Thanks for reading, I look forward to reading your opinions and comments on today’s topic.